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Queued, Screwed, Blued, and Tattoed

In even-numbered years, there is a wave of consolidation at work, to bring all departments into coordination to improve efficiency. In odd-numbered years, there is a way of entreprenuerialism at work, and all departments are encouraged to think independently to improve innovation.

Anyway, we're starting an even-numbered year, so all the IT service departments are being mooshed together to use a single user request tracking tool. The users go to a web site, choose their division, department, etc., and describe the problem and send in a ticket. Each of the mooshed-together IT departments has a set of ticket queues that are supposed to help us identify the problems. Unsurprisingly, since there is no coordination, ten departments have spawned 400 individual queues.

This is, of course, unacceptable; we need uniformity for the users, even if it means we have no idea who or what or where we're supposed to fix something. So Manglement wants to reduce and consolidate and uniformize the departmental queues. Regardless of the fact that the application support people have no need for a hardware installation queue, and I have no use for a database-repair queue.

So, I have proposed this queue structure:

I Work For:

1) Some Dipstick in Development

2) Some Twit In Testing

3) Some Poor Bugger In Customer Support

The Problem Is:

1) My Account Is Screwed

2) My System Is Screwed

3) My Files Are Screwed

4) The Network Is Screwed

5) I Deleted Something And I'm Screwed

6) I Don't Know What's Screwed, You Figure It Out.


1) Fix It Right Now

2) Fix It Immediately

3) Fix It! Fix It! Fix It!

4) Why Haven't You Fixed It Yet?

I predict overwhelming support from the trenches.


( 1 comment — Leave a comment )
Jan. 19th, 2008 03:05 am (UTC)
The design department for the co. I worked had a sign in the room saying something like "You needed it yesterday, but you're just ordering today". Or something like that......
( 1 comment — Leave a comment )

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