The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
> Oh mighty omniscient Oracle, fount of all knowledge, keeper of all
> wisdom, here the plea of this poor soul...
> What is Kraft American "cheese-like food" *really* made of?
And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
In order from largest amount to smallest amount, it's made of:
Thiamin mononitrate, ferrous sulfate, sodium benzoate, benzium sodioate, partially hydrogenated soybean oil, dexadrin, soy lecithin-an emulsifier, kitten katothol, sodium ascorbate and ascorbic acid, pyridoxine hydrochloride, hydrochloric palmitate, phosphoric acid, lactic acid starter culture, BHA, BHT, maltodextrin, LL-cysteine hydrochloride, ammonium sulfate, monocalcium phosphate, THBQ, MVBMS, bits of Jimmy Hoffa, ethylhexyl p-methoxycinnamate, oxybenzone, 2-ethyhexyl salicyate, homosalate, snips and snails and puppydog tails, PEG-8, silica, cetyl phosphate, acrylates/C10-30 alkyl acrylate crosspolymer, diazolidinyl urea, methylparaben, popylparaben, disodium EDTA, propylene glycol, patent pending, triethanolamine, THC, PABA, canthaxanthin, 5-hydroxy tryptophan, adenosine triphosphate, synthetic iron oxide, nasty squid tentacles, ferrous gluconate, toasted partially defatted cooked cottonseed flour, radioactive waste, titanium dioxide, riboflavin, potassium sodium copper chlorophyllin (chlorophyllin-copper complex), luminescent zinc sulfide, sunlight, strawberry alarm clocks, 1,4-Bis((2-hydroxy-ethyl)amino)-9,10-ant
And here I bet you thought it didn't have any milk in it at all, huh?
You owe the Oracle a new spellchecker--I burned mine out on this answer.